I have worked in various schools for about 10 years. If you know me, you know that I am a "go to person" if something needs to be fixed, I'm usually the one that is figuring out how to fix it. Problem solving is my specialty and often times at my own demise. Either, I overextend myself, cannot complete the task or see it through and even delegate it to others, because it will not be done that way I would like. This is relevant, because one day, I had this thought of starting college tours for students who were in the 11th and 12th grades. This is a new project (my sort of thing too) and I love to expose students to other worlds.
I set up a couple of multi-day tours for students and they absolutely loved them and everyone thought they were great. I then started to incorporate single day tours and they went well too. So as long as everyone was happy, I was happy. People made it home safe, not despite some drama. Including smoke coming from our 15 passenger van and no one had cell reception, a student breaking out in hives, and staying at a Hostel in a dark Philadelphia alley. We made it out alive and my thinking was and still is, these are the stories the students will tell their own kids.
One tour, in particular, stands out to me. I am not sure if I was not in a good space or it just was a bad tour, but the students were complaining about everything. I became very upset by this. Not the upset to ask what was wrong about the tour, but upset and taking the standpoint, "see if I do another tour". I was done. No, seriously - DONE. I was telling my colleague and friend about my being "done" and instead of her nodding her head and chiming in about how ungrateful the students were and how I took time out of my day and night to plan and accompany the students on the tours, how I... and how I... And when I... She said none of that. What she did say was, "well, why did you start the tours?" I go into my spiel about, they really needed to be exposed to the college campus, understanding what's out there, parents done have the time ... and she said, "well?" I'm looking at her like, what? She said, "so if that is why you started this, then why are you going to stop this? I knew she was right, but I kept holding on. Telling her my pet peeves and how I cannot stand ungratefulness, blah blah. So, she asked, "do the students still need to be the college tour experience?" I reluctantly said, Yes. She said, "well".
Needless to say, she was absolutely right. I needed that reminder that this wasn't about all that I did and my getting caught up in that - because that line of thinking was not helpful the future decisions I needed to make. I was frustrated, therefore I was going to pull back. I will not even get into how this affects other areas of my life (clearing throat - relationships). However, as my aunt put it, it's a tough job, but somebody has to do it. As an educator we love the moments when students finally get it, when they succeed, when they come up to you after they have graduated or had their first college acceptance and thank you for pushing them academically, socially and give you shout-outs at graduation. We love those moments, but the truth is that they are few and far between. Sometimes for us, they are none existent - especially when you are a background player that handles a lot of the moving parts and nobody really knows all that you do. It's a thankless job, but somebody has to do it.
This post came about, because as a school administrator, we often tend to feel the same way, not just about students, but toward teachers and staff. As a matter of fact, I'll just say any managerial position in any field. We deal with the hard realities that sometimes people will just not appreciate all that you do or even know the magnitude of what you do for them. But that is not the reason for why we do them, so we should not get caught up in the gratitude. It's helpful, it's motivating for us, but if we do things to get gratitude from others, we are going to be constantly disappointed. The reality check that I was reminded of today, was that nobody might appreciate the value you add to an organization, but does that mean you stop working, stop teaching or stop doing what needs to be done?
I say no - I think it means we need to find other outlets. I think we need to focus on the bigger picture and go back to the beginning of why we got into this work in the first place. This will also require you to be honest with yourself. Really, really ask yourself and be honest - why did I even do this? Was it for the recognition, the money, the fame, the difference I was hoping to make. Am I really cut out for this work? Is that short-term or long term?
Be honest, be thorough and by all means talk to people that will challenge you and not enable poor responses, behaviors and mindsets.
This post came about, because as a school administrator, we often tend to feel the same way, not just about students, but toward teachers and staff. As a matter of fact, I'll just say any managerial position in any field. We deal with the hard realities that sometimes people will just not appreciate all that you do or even know the magnitude of what you do for them. But that is not the reason for why we do them, so we should not get caught up in the gratitude. It's helpful, it's motivating for us, but if we do things to get gratitude from others, we are going to be constantly disappointed. The reality check that I was reminded of today, was that nobody might appreciate the value you add to an organization, but does that mean you stop working, stop teaching or stop doing what needs to be done?
I say no - I think it means we need to find other outlets. I think we need to focus on the bigger picture and go back to the beginning of why we got into this work in the first place. This will also require you to be honest with yourself. Really, really ask yourself and be honest - why did I even do this? Was it for the recognition, the money, the fame, the difference I was hoping to make. Am I really cut out for this work? Is that short-term or long term?
Be honest, be thorough and by all means talk to people that will challenge you and not enable poor responses, behaviors and mindsets.
See you soon!
Tammy J
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