Well, I finally left my job, took all of my belongings, including my last pair of shoes left under the desk and packed up my stuff. I've been planning this for months, preparing for this, saving money for this, but as I went to write on the whiteboard in my old office. I broke down. It hit me, it finally hit me that I would be leaving this place that I've been at for five years. It is the longest job that I've been at in my life and I've grown to love and cherish some key people.
As ambitious as I may be or always ready to go to the next level and move on. This one, was by far the hardest. My last job, I absolutely loved, but my boss was leaving, so it was a no brainer for me. However, nobody was leaving from this job, except me. On to do the next thing. It wasn't a hostile working environment, there was no one I wanted to get away from in particular and I wasn't asked to leave. It was simply, an opportunity that I had to take.
I wrote on the board in tears, like shoulder jerking tears, that "I will miss you all and hope you have a good rest of the year. Love, Ms. Jackson." I proceeded to take the keys off my ring, because I was told that I could have them, but it seemed to me that I needed to give them back. It was like a chapter closed in my life, but one that I will revisit again one day. Not sure how or when, but that place taught me a boat load. It was like taking a graduate level course, with no credits attached.
My favorite saying to students, when asked why I was messing with them. I would say, "they actually pay me to do this". It's funny, but it's true. This is a job that I will always remember and always cherish. From the moment it was offered to the tears rolling down my face as I left my old office. I absolutely loved that job! It allowed me the opportunity to be integrated into every aspect of a student's life, speak with their parents, guardians, counselors, teachers, friends, coaches, etc. It was every aspect of trying to find a solution to fix their particular dilemma. I loved it and I would like to continue doing this.
I could teach, but honestly, the only thing I would teach is Careers or Technology. Those are the only subjects I would feel remotely comfortable doing and I love helping students map our their futures and providing them with the tools to do so. Therefore, I think I'm going to decline that other offer. There, that's settled.
Then, I packed up everything, cleared off my computer, cleaned the office and headed to my car. I'm crying as I walk in the halls by myself at 8:00 pm, down the path and lock the front office, the computer lab and turn out the lights. I continue to sob and I think well, why am I crying. These should be tears of joy. Then I thought I didn't feel joyful and I'm going to miss this place. Why did I have to leave? I don't want to go. My legs kept walking to my car, at this point I am crying loudly and sniffling. I then run into this man walking in the street, who acts like he doesn't even hear me or see me. I tried to muffle my sobs, as I get in my car. I know he thought I was looking quite crazy and dared not ask. As I get ready to pull off, I see a note on my car window. I thought it was my boss or co-worker leaving a note to me, because they couldn't muster up the strength to say it to me. Uh, no.
It was a note saying, "In the future, please move your car up further, so that the neighbors that live here can actually park in the space". Through my tears, I started laughing and thought. There will be no in the future and drove off.
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