Hello
Folks,
Some
housekeeping items before I start in on this week's adventure.
1) If you
look to your immediate right. Yes, ---> Right there (If you used the site
http://tjmovetony.blogspot.com) You can add your email address and when I post
something new, you will receive an email automatically.
2) I've
created a new website, that has both my blogs and soon to come Podcast. Please
visit the site www.tammyj.net. I'm excited about the website, so you have to go to the
site, check it out and tell me what you think!
3) On
July 1st, I will start my podcast, that will be done on a weekly basis.
However, for those of you who are not familiar with Podcasting, I need you to
get familiar with it, because the only way my ratings go up is if you listen to
my show and like, comment or recommend this to your friends. It's the same with
the blog. Pass it on!!! Yay.
a) Apple folks: You can use iTunes
- Here is a YouTube link for those you that need to learn how to listen to podcast
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLsWIR_sU8M (You will need to search for
Tammy J: It Happens, not this other guys stuff. :-) Please subscribe on July 1st.
b) Android folks: Here is an alternative - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnpdINNXF1g
c) Everyone else without smart phones (booo) - You can
visit http://www.buzzsprout.com/12319
or my website (www.tammyj.net) and
click podcast.
4) Social
Media: Please friend me on Facebook (use email tammy.j.ny@gmail.com) and
Tweet me
on Twitter @TammyJNY #Ineedviewers
5) I
created a YouTube channel - (Yes, I've been busy) Click to see my YouTube Video.
That is it for housekeeping!
Now - to the
shenanigans!
This week
started off with the man dancing around the pole! SMH. Every time I think of
it, I start to laugh. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the blog
posted on Tuesday, June 18th. It's seriously funny!
On
Wednesday, I had a phone interview at 8 am with the principal of a school that
went pretty well. I was concerned about having this conversation so early in
the morning, because my voice would be really deep and she might think I just
woke up 15 minutes ago, because I just woke up 15 minutes ago. I tried to brush
my teeth and gargle, to get the frogs out of my throat, but I didn't take into
account that I don't have anyone to talk to and test it out. So, when she
called me, that was the first time I spoke to anyone. I was surprised to hear
my own voice. It didn't sound deep, but then I could have still been sleepy and
my hearing wasn't good, because she asked if this was still a good time to
talk. I tried to make my voice a little higher and said that it was a great
time. By the end of the conversation, she seemed genuinely interested in me and
asked me about my current location and if I had a timeline. I reluctantly told
her that I was living in the Bronx, because I am praying to God, this changes
in 2 weeks! Then I told her that I did not have a timeline, but then I said,
"Well, I do - for housing reasons". She said she understood, would
collaborate with her colleagues and get back to me.
I had
another interview that day in Brooklyn. It took a little over an hour to get
there from East Harlem, but the ride there was too bad. However, I did learn
that Google Maps does not work well with walking directions. I had on a dress
(it was entirely too hot for a suit) and heels. One of my heels kept making
this clicking noise, like the tip came off. So, I'm walking down the street,
making all types of 'nails on concrete' noises and trying to not to draw
anymore attention to myself. I look at the bottom of my heel and 'lo and
behold', the heel tip was gone! I wanted to put my sneakers back on, but felt
the school should be close. Well, no it wasn't close and the people that lived
in the area had no idea where the street was - that I needed. Google Maps
showed me staying in one position, even though I had moved a whole 2 blocks. (In
the wrong direction I might add).
So, I'm
walking down the street, clicking and clacking (badly), the wind is blowing, my
dress is hiked up in the back, because "let's face it - there is enough to
fill it out" and I'm lost with 15 minutes to spare. I take a leap of faith
and walk the opposite way and finally find the street. I'm so excited, because
I see the name of the school on the front of the building and a lady in a suit,
looking like she is going to be interviewed as well. I immediately feel stupid,
because this was the first time ever in my life, I didn't wear a suit to an
interview. There was another lady standing there with her, so I begin to head
towards them and they both turn around, because they could hear me first with
all the clicking noises coming from my left shoe. I just acted like it was
supposed to sound like that and smiled. A woman answers the door and asks the
lady in the suit if she was here for an interview. She nodded yes and then she
asked the lady that was standing next to her, if she was to be interviewed as
well. I looked at her clothes and immediately thought, if she is here for an
interview, society has really downgraded their interviewing attire. I was not
in a suit, but it was a nice business-like dress. She wasn't dressed poorly,
but she had on some black tight (McDonald's uniform type pants) and a bright,
buttoned-down shirt that was tucked in tight, so display her figure? The woman
responded, "Aha, ugh! I'm not here for an interview, this school fired me,
I'm just here to drop off my stuff". As she said that, she walked past the
lady who opened the door and left the three of us looking at each other with
our eyebrows up, like "really". After that, the lady at the door
didn't even bother to ask me why I was there, so I just walked in behind the
other woman like, "yeah, what she said". SMH
That
interview went well and afterwards she told me the next steps would involve me
coming back for yet another face-to-face interview that included meeting with
the principal, doing a sample lesson and then they would let me know something
soon. I smiled, shook her hand and click/clacked out of there. As soon as I
reached the doors of the school, I took off those horrid broken shoes and put
on my sneakers. I walked back towards
the train station and as I waited for the light to change at the corner, an
short older man with long salt and pepper locs glides right next to me and is
"smiling like chester cat" (as my grandma would say) and says,
"I just want to let you know that you are one beautiful woman". I
smiled politely and took a step back, like I won't be crossing at this light,
nor will I even verbally acknowledge what you are saying, because that will be
your cue to start a conversation. Well, folks, when I'm right, I'm right. My
simple smile and a nod towards him, was his cue. He stops, doesn't cross the
street and says, "You are just beautiful". At this point, I have to
go into retreat mode and act like - I don't 'speaka Ingles'. He continues,
"You know any man would be lucky to..." Folks, I don't know what he
said after this, because I put on my headphones, paced back and forth, acted
like I was talking to someone, motioning my hands up and down, like I was
trying to make a point, when I was simply listening to "It's a Beautiful
Day". He eventually crossed the street and I kept moving my hands and
saying really loudly, "No, really - she needs to stop doing that."
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS - *and resume* - "Do you believe that?" PAUSE
FOR A FEW SECONDS - *and resume* - "Oh, okay". PAUSE FOR A FEW
SECONDS - *and resume* - "I'll tell
you this"
After a good solid minute of randomly having a conversation with
myself, I put my headphones away and crossed the street to catch the train.
Back to
my dress. It's a nice black and white print dress, with a belt to display some
curves, and it flared out from the waist. The dress is about knee length in the
front and something else in the back, but whatever. I know the dress looks
nice, I have on my bike shorts under the dress, so everything flows better and
I have on my new walking sneakers, that happen to be black and white - so I
know that I'm matching and looking good. AHA. Well, I come down the steps to go
the train platform and both trains on both sides of the tracks are coming at
the same time. I feel lighter with my sneakers on, so I'm taking nice, toes pointed
downward, graceful steps to get on the main platform. I'm feeling good, the
interview went well, I think I just received a compliment and THEN a gush of
wind all of a sudden comes up the stairs and my dress is now up with the wind.
Literally, my gray biker shorts are exposed, I'm attempting to hold the dress
down and not with the Marilyn Monroe face, but the OMG, I'm horrified, stupid,
and throw me on the tracks face. I'm praying people are more interested in
getting on their trains than seeing my shorts. I attempt to quickly hold the
dress and run down the stairs without falling. So embarrassing. I went to the
end of the car, so that I wouldn't have to see anyone who might have seen that
embarrassing rendition of Ms. Monroe. SMH
As I
mentioned, my interview was in Brooklyn. Well, it was the deep side of Brooklyn,
below Bed-Stuy. Um hmm, how do you know, you ask? Well, the train cars were
old, the seats were a nasty orange color and they had advertisements on the
train that said, "Want to break your heroin habit? Call us". I was
like, "Oh, I see!" The infamous
guys were selling candy on the trains again and this time the guy had a
partner. Let me clarify. These were not kids, these were grown men! Anyway, no
one on my side brought any candy, but then this lady (who happened to be white)
motions to the guy that she would like some candy. He brings her three
different kinds of whatever she asks for and then returns. His partner said
something and then the guy said, "I hustle in 3 different languages, B.
Ebonics, English and ..." Everyone started laughing and I couldn't hear the
last language. I almost wanted to say, "Mr. Candyman, what's the third
language, so I can write it in my blog". Then I thought better of that
question and smiled. I didn't smile too wide, just a half smile with one side
of my face up, so I wouldn't look sweet. You have to be conscious to keep your
eyebrows down and not look so wide-eyed and bushy tailed.
This is the half-smile! Like, I'm cool, but not that cool!
You have to learn it.
You have to learn it.
Thursday
was not as adventurous! Thanks goodness!
I went to work, stayed late and came home. No drama. Just people sleeping on
the train with their mouths open. One lady had her head down completely in her
lap, while her child was kneeling on the seat next to her running amuck. I
thought I heard her growl, but then thought maybe she was snoring. I just hoped
she was snoring, because I wouldn't have been able to handle growling. Would I
have been in danger, would the kid have been in danger or all of us would have
been doomed? I halfway expected her to raise her head as she was fighting to
transform into something grotesque. That's what I get for trying to watch
"Fringe". I could not make it past the second episode.
Friday
was a day I spent with the 4th and 5th graders at the school where my
fellowship is located. Lucky me, Friday was FUN DAY. I'm not sure who actually
had fun, but after 4 hours of being with those kids, my feet hurt, I was
drained and I had to remember these kids don't know me! I am not the one for
that sort of foolishness. Hmm!
I
literally was so tired and hungry, I stopped by the pizza place, bought a slice
and sat down in the store to eat it and watch the Harlem-ites walk pass during
the 5pm rush hour foot traffic. My feet really hurt at this point and I
probably could have stayed there for another hour or so, but realized that I
needed to get ready for my Google Hangout session with my online class. I have
to catch two trains to get home and they run on the same line, but one goes
further (my stop) than the other. So, I get off one train and I see a seat on
the platform. I immediately take it and let out a sigh of relief. The guy that
was next to me, immediately jumps up and acts like he was going towards the
train I was just on - but hello - it's a little late, if I had time to sit down
and breathe a long sigh of relief - then sir, you are already late!
Well, as
I sit there, i was listening to music, and I saw a guy with a bible pacing
around the platform. I noticed the bible and looked at him, turned my music
off, because I thought he might be saying something interesting. Well, I couldn't
understand most of what he said. He was a Hispanic man with a deep accent and a
lisp. Half of the time, I thought he was speaking in Spanish, but then I heard
some English. Well, at one point, he kept looking at me. I was like, "ut
oh". Here we go. So, I tried to look at other people, but as the trains
kept coming, he got louder and more direct with his message. Again, I didn't
understand a word of what he was saying. Nothing! His message became so direct,
that I thought someone sitting on a bench in front of me was saying something
back to him, because he would say things like, "Yes, you know. Uh, huh,
that's what I said, you don't believe me, huh?" He would pause in between
these sayings, like there was someone that was responding to him or that he was
responding to their comments. I could not tell, but I know Jesus would perceive
what the crowd was thinking and he would address their thoughts. I don't know
if this dude was attempting to do the same thing, but I started to try to send
my subliminal messages again. I was thinking, please don't come over here! I
know the Word and I'm not interested in it being yelled at me on this subway
platform. Then, all of a sudden, the guy's voice becomes
very clear. He said, "if you die, your dead. People talking about they
died and then they came back. No, they lie. You might have been on that ecstasy
and your heart (he thumps his heart) might have stopped for some seconds, but
you weren't dead. When you die, your dead. You didn't see the light. Jesus is
the light."
I was
like, okay and pulled out my book, because I had to write it down.
Then I
heard growling! What's with the growling? I turn my head and it's this guy
standing over me, looking down at my book and what I am writing. So, I give him
the half turn, like, "hmmm" and quickly get up. I wasn't sure if my
train was coming or not, but as much as my feet hurt - I felt like a sitting
duck with the guy yelling at people about Jesus and this man growling and
breathing on my neck. No more sitting down on the platforms. It's like asking
to be messed with! I'm good.
Well,
like last week. As I sat to write down what transpired outside of my living
quarters, I start to hear commotion inside my living quarters. I try to keep
writing as I'm nearing the end of my thoughts, but then the wife goes from
yelling to crying, talking about "don't leave me". I barely hear the
husband at all. It's like he's whispering. However, she is NOT. Sobs of 'don't
leave me, don't leave me'. Then I hear something go over the balcony. I'm like,
Okay. Slamming items, furniture moving and then I hear something break - then
the woman yells, "Are you f*#ing crazy". That was my cue - nobody was
hurt, but I got to go! I retreat to my car and thought about driving around the
Bronx neighborhood and then thought twice about that! So, I stayed in my car,
talked to my mom and ate sunflower seeds! Ain't nobody got time for that. I was
advised to call the guy and see if their charade was over. Okay, let's try
that? "Excuse me sir, but are you and your wife finish arguing and
breaking things in this shared space. It's 12:30 in the morning and I'd like to
get some sleep or as much as I can in this upper room with no air conditioning.
Can you guys argue when I'm not there? Between the hours of 8 and 5pm. Thank
you (Brenda voice (The Closer))! "
Uh, no
(In my Kevin Hart voice) I will take the advice of DMX, "mind your
business, lady". It's not my
business, until you bring that mess in the confines of my jail cell that I've
purchased for the month or until I perceive someone is being hurt. Besides
that, go across the street to Pelham park and argue all you want! It is a
better scene than this dorm room!
Around
12:45 am, I come back to my cell and the door opens and a woman emerges from
her cell and introduces herself. Then she offers an apology for what happened.
She wasn't what I expected. I imagined her to be a small petite woman that looked
like Penelope Cruz. She was attractive, about the same build as I was, but a
little shorter. She had make-up around her eyes, long dark hair and had a
slight Hispanic accent. She kept apologizing and finally I said, "Well,
are you guys okay?" She looks back towards their door, in a very matter of
fact way, shrugs her shoulders and says, "Oh, yeah. We are cool." As
if - we do this all the time. I said, "hmm". Then she says, "I
just feel so bad. I mean first impressions are the one's that last". I look at her and give her
the pug head turn. Really, Sherlock? After I turned my head upright like a
human again, I said, "Well you have a good rest of the night" and unlock
the door to my cell.
Anyway,
folks. I need my own place. I have two interviews (they are both 3rd interviews)
next week.
LET'S START THE COUNTDOWNS!
5 DAYS TILL I
HAVE A JOB!
9 DAYS TILL I
HAVE MY OWN APARTMENT!
Let's get ready
to rumbbbblllllleeeee!
In this corner,
we have the unstoppable, the undeniable, undefeated champion of the world -
TAMMMMMMMMY JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ.
AND in this
corner, we have the ridiculous, the impossible, the unattainable Biiiiiigggg
Appppllllllleeeeeeee!
Alright, I want
a clean fight, no hitting below the belt, when the bell rings - Move to your
Corners!
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