Jobless Fool/Desperate Roommate

The week before I officially move to New York:

So, as I sit here on my old laptop at my old job as of the 31st of May. I am logging pink slips, as I was the Dean of Students, who once handled all of the discipline issues and all of the  accompanying paperwork. These pink slips have piled up since April, because the best intern in the world's last day was in April. I know, smh. However, I am spending my day off by logging pink slips. 

My past few days have been interesting, to say the least. 

• Monday: I took two of my advisees from my old school to a banquet where they received an award. This turned into an all-day thing where they stayed at my house, ate Tuxedo cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, chicken from my last bar-b-que and gabbed for hours.
• Tuesday: I attended the seniors' graduation ceremony, where they looked great, spoke eloquently, and some even cried. I almost cried, as some of the girls' expressed heartfelt thoughts about me, because they knew I was leaving. They gave me some flowers and I connected with a student's aunt, who lives in Brooklyn. 
• I then had a follow-up meeting about a job that had me on the hook for three weeks. I was informed that I did not receive the job, because the current Dean of Students' decided to stay. He then told me about a Special Education Teaching job that needed to be filled. My first thought was - no way, but then asked if he could send me the job description. 
• I went back to my old job and begin to chip away at the pink slips and was able to make a major dent. Many people interrupted me, because they were trying to figure out why they just had a party for me last Friday, thought I would be leaving and I'm back in my old office, looking like a jobless fool. I assured them, I was a jobless fool, but one that liked to finish what I started. :-)
• Since I didn't get that job, I also lost the ability to get the apartment that I just put down a deposit for last Saturday. I was too embarrassed to call the realtor that day to let her know, so I emailed her the next morning. My fellowship starts on Monday in New York, well my orientation is in New Jersey, but still I have no where to stay. 
• Then to end my day - I do the unthinkable: Look on CRAIGSLIST FOR PEOPLE LOOKING FOR A ROOMMATE. OMG. I send five emails, and two people emailed me back. I also put in a call to a friend who emailed her friends in New York about a roommate situation. SMH
• Through the friend, I find someone who knows a realtor and a tenant looking for a roommate. I called him and we agreed that I'll be there on Thursday. 
• Wednesday: I go to the doctor's and pay $115.00 for a shot, because I have no longer have health insurance. I told the lady I do not have any income, she says well who takes care of you. I look at her as if to say, I'm about to be living in my car, just before they take it away, because I don't have a place to stay. Hello? I say, my last day was on Friday, I don't start my fellowship until Monday, currently I don't have a job. Then she says, well put down what you will be making on the fellowship. Does that make sense? I have to pay you today, not in three weeks, when or if they decide to pay me. :-? Okay, lady, whatever. $115 later, a band aid and a pen that I took - because I just gave them $115. I'm off to my old job. 
• This time I close the door to my office, but more people, looking like - you just can't leave huh? What's up, do you have a place yet, when does your fellowship start? Uh, nothing, no, Monday. The door was closed! Yes, it's confirmed, I'm a jobless, stupid bum that will stay at my old job, until they kick me out. Forget that I gave my resignation without a job, planning to move to another expensive city, have no prospects of any jobs, apartments, or anything. I keep smiling, entering my pink slips and occasionally looking up and tuning into their latest job related experiences. 
• Thursday: My friend, S.R.A. and I, leave at 10:30 AM to drive to New York. We decided to make it a whole trip of it and take the road with no tolls. We paid 1 total toll on the way up - $13. We arrived at our destination at 7:15 pm! No joke, no lie, no exaggerations. It was because we were going to Brooklyn first to get my apartment deposit back. I called my realtor to let her know that I was on my way and she tells me that since they already ran my credit check, to just give it to the landlord my paperwork and let her decide. I was a little excited by this news, but then I'm like well my fellowship starts MONDAY! But, I said, I'll just share a room with someone for a month and if the landlord picks me, I'll move in July! Even though we were already around the corner from her office, but we decided to leave for the apartment in the Bronx through the friend of a friend, realtor friend. I call him to let him know that the GPS says I'll be there at 6:45, but with NY traffic, I should be that at 7:15...he texted me some gibberish about 7:15 and I replied "what, I'm on my way".
• I arrive around 7:15 as I predicted and we met with the realtor. It was a nice neighborhood in the South Bronx. We walk past a couple in the lobby, and I made a point to smile, because I wasn't sure if they were the couple that wanted a roommate. They looked perplexed and I wasn't sure if they spoke English or by the looks on their faces, seen black people before. I just smiled and got on the sunken elevator with SRA and the realtor. 
• We arrive at an apt on the 5th floor and the realtor walks in and a guy peeks out. He introduces himself to me and all I heard was "Erin". I am hard of hearing, but it was a foreign name and I didn't get it. I look in the room and the landlord says, did you tell her I had a wife. I looked like, I'm sorry - did you think I was interested in you? That would be a heck no. Why is that the first thing our of your mouth, besides your name. Then he goes on to say, I also have a son that will be here three days out of the week. I told him I don't care.
• They show me the room, which is small, but bigger than my current room that I have in my townhouse, smelled like it's been closed up, and had a twin bed. I looked around and asked the realtor what needs to be done to move this process forward. He says, you'll need to have $600 for me (finders fee), $600 for the landlord and it's yours. Then he says there is another couple looking at this place now. He said, they were the ones downstairs. My friend and I said, Oh, that is why they were looking so perplexed. So, the realtor says, first come, first serve. I ask if I can look at the bathroom - to determine if I can even shower. I am extremely particular about bathrooms. I cannot stand to be naked, wet and in nasty or disgusting places. It makes me itchy and I feel gross. The bathroom was decent, so I said "give me 15 minutes and I'll go get the money". 
• We come downstairs and the couple left. I assumed they went to go get the money, so we drive where we thought we saw a bank and tried to get the $1200 out of the bank. Well, there are daily limits on each bank, my M&T bank had a $400 limit and Ally had a $500 limit. So, then I had to borrow $300 from my friend. We raced back and met up with the realtor. 
• I asked if there was WI-FI, there was. I asked about cleaning and the landlord said he would clean everything. I looked perplexed and said, "okay". Then the realtor said, you can bring a dresser in here to store your clothes. I looked at him, like - really? There was no common space, just a small table with two chairs against the wall. There was a kitchen, their bedroom, my bedroom now and a bathroom. Please sir, where would I put a dresser and I don't plan to be here that long. SMH. Then the realtor says, you can tell our friend that you love the place. I just looked at him again, like really? Love is not a word that comes to mind. Tolerate, don't have a choice, desperate roommate situation fits the bill. 
• My friend didn't even want me to go in there by myself, because she was like - people are crazy - you never know. lol. I was like "look, I have a knife, tasser and mace". She still went with me. 
• I paid the men, checked the keys, and we proceeded to get some food. After being in crazy traffic, we decided to stop in New Jersey. We found a diner at 11:00pm at night, checked it out to make sure there were some black people, we saw none. Then we walked in and figured if they looked at us like "you don't belong here", we would quickly retreat. But they didn't and sat us down. What a relief, because we were really hungry. Our waitress was nice, the burger was excellent with crispy bacon and the calamari was great. My friend liked her omelette and we paid them and got out of there. 
• We had great conversation, sang songs and laughed for hours in the car. It turned out to be a good day. I dropped her off at 3:30 in the morning and went home where I crashed.
• Friday: I woke up around 11 am, took a shower and came back to my old job. I received more perplexed looks and one person said, well, I'll guess we'll see you next week. I politely said, no...gave them a hug and went back to logging my pink slips. I gave my boss of 5 years a hug, though not a final hug, but a hug to say it may be awhile. However, to me, it doesn't seem like the end. 
• We joked about my experience of finding a place, I haven't packed, sleeping in a room where I will have lots of time, because I have no TV, no space to do anything and no one that I know besides my student's aunt in Brooklyn. I then said, I should write a blog about this. I've been toying around the idea of writing a blog and starting a podcast, but thought I needed a theme. There are several projects that I am making slow progress with and I'd like to discuss them, but also things like this personal stuff - moving and acting on faith, without a road map, or directions. The process, the tears, the regret and the victory. Trusting and believing in God, that he will make a way, when there seems to be no way. Having to step out and do the unthinkable and be okay with it. Not looking ashamed, but owning it, knowing that to others, you are a crazy jobless fool and desperately looking for a roommate. 

Here is to the journey: I look forward to those that travel with me!